Floyd the Barber

Bell on door clangs, come on in

Floyd observes my hairy chin

Sit down, chair, don't be afraid

Steamed hot towel on my face

I was shaved

I was shaved

I was shaved

Barney ties me to the chair

I can't see, I'm really scared

Floyd breathes hard, I hear a zip

Pee-pee pressed against my lips

I was shamed

I was shamed

I was shamed

I sense others in the room

Opie, Aunt Bee, I presume

They take turns and cut me up

I die smothered in Aunt Bee's muff

I was shamed

I was ashamed

I was shamed